


If I'm Not Your Friend, What Am I?

by penrosequartz



Series: Where Is The Red [1]
Category: Eddsworld
Genre: Alcohol, Explanation thing kinda, M/M, Prequel, Self-Harm, i dont ever want to think about this again
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-24
Updated: 2016-07-24
Packaged: 2018-07-26 10:25:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7570570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/penrosequartz/pseuds/penrosequartz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>tom is sad, tord is cute, shit goes down, a prequel</p>
            </blockquote>





	If I'm Not Your Friend, What Am I?

"Tom? Are you okay?"

Oh, fuck. Why can't he leave you alone? "Piss off you commie bastard, leave me be." Your voice is jagged, and your words slur. "Listen, Tom... I know we don't get on, but you've been in there for ages, and I'm getting worried. Matt and Edd went out over an hour ago, they said if you weren't out of there by now there was something wrong, and... well, they told me to break the door down." Tord did sound genuinely concerned for once, his Nordic accent echoing through the thin wood.

"Don't break the door down, you stupid fucker. I'll be out in a bit." You pick yourself up off the floor, wrapping your wrists in fresh bandages and wiping the blood off the tiles. Tord says something, but you don't catch it over the tap running. You splash some water on your face before opening the drawer that holds your bathroom supplies - a shit ton of hair gel, a comb, a toothbrush and some toothpaste. You reach for the empty gel bottle, the one you rinsed out and use as a safe place to hide your blades. Soon enough, you're all cleaned up, and the bathroom looks the same as before.

"What took you so long?" Tord asks, drawling, as you enter the living room. He's sprawled across his 'magic couch', flicking through the television channels lazily. "None of your business, sunshine lollipops. What are you watching?" You wander over, gesturing for him to scoot to the side. He doesn't notice.

"Dunno yet. Nothing good on." "Tord, move your ass so I can sit down." "Gah! Witness. Think you own the place." Nevertheless, he moves - just enough.

He continues flicking through the channels as you ignore the overwhelming feeling inside you. You feel so empty, like someone has shot you through the stomach, and you want more than anything to just double over and cry. But you can't. Not in front of him, anyway. You grab your flask out of your hoodie pocket and drink deeply. If you can't get rid of that feeling, you figure you can at least make it blurry.

"Tord, gimme the control." "What? No!" "Give it here, you don't even know how to use this remote properly!" "I helped invent remotes you fuck!" "Give it here!" "Fuck off!"

You make a grab for the remote, and that's your first mistake, because Tord retaliates by grabbing your wrist and squeezing. It's probably some weird pressure point thing, but the pain is so intense that you yell. Tord stops immediately, his eyes scared and confused. "God, sorry! That shouldn't have hurt that much, I'm-" He pauses. You can see it now, he's realised what's going on.

"Tom..." You turn away from him abruptly, tears threatening to spill onto your face. "Tom, let me see." You look at him incredulously. "What? No! Absolutely not!" You protest, but he's got your arm and he's gently lifting your sleeve. As soon as he's got it past the bandages, he begins unravelling them, slowly letting them drop to the floor. He stares in horror at the clump of words on your arm. You don't just cut lines into your skin, you use razorblades and other sharp objects to carve words in. Tord's eyes flick to the phrase 'classic, stupid Tom'.

His eyes widen. "I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry... Tell me this wasn't me, tell me it wasn't, please..." You grab your wrist from his grip. "It's not all you, okay?" You explain, looking at the floor, "It's just something wrong with me. And it makes me feel better sometimes. Just- just leave me alone." You lift your head so you can walk out of the room, and you see with a shock that Tord is staring right at you, eyes brimming with tears. God, he has eyes, and they're so full of emotion and they're beautiful and you can read them like a book.

"Tom, I'm sorry for everything I've done... I know I've hurt you and... I know you're never going to forgive me. But I don't want to do this to you, I swear." "Then _stop_ , you asshole!" Your voice is fierce, "I'm sick of you pushing me around and making fun of me. If you don't want to do that, don't! Do what you actually want to do!" You're getting louder and louder, and Tord is staring at you with... _what_. 

Tord reaches over and takes your hand, and pulls you silently to the bathroom. You sit on the edge of the bath, confused. "I don't..." You start, but Tord's finger drifts in front of your lips, accompanied by a 'shh' from the Norski. So you shut up.

Tord rifles through the bathroom cupboards, eventually drawing out a small bottle of antiseptic. He dabs some on your cuts. "Fuck!" You say loudly, then a quiet "sorry". Tord gives you a small smile as he re-bandages your wrist. Then, he slowly takes off the bandages off the other, and applies more antiseptic, almost systematically. This time you only hiss a little, and he covers your arm in cloth again.

Only then does he look up and say: "Come here." Without wanting to, your body falls into Tord's, your arms trailing around his torso as his drape over your shoulders. "Why are you being so nice now?" You say a little jokingly, but it isn't exactly a rhetorical question. "I've wanted to, for ages, but... I was scared," Tord replies, voice shaking a little, "I was scared, because... Because I like you. Kind of a lot. In a not-entirely-platonic-way." You pull away from the hug in surprise. "W-wait, what? You- I don't..." You stammer. 

"Listen, I never thought I could feel this way about someone. I thought I was above all that, you don't even know what I've done, Tom... I thought I was... Unstoppable. Higher than all of you. But I'm not, not even close. In fact, I'm so much worse. Tom, I-" he gulps, "I have to leave."

You're suddenly very scared. "What? Where are you going? I thought you were moving back in!" He shakes his head. "The truth is, I'm wanted by the police, Tom. It's not any of the things you're thinking, probably. But I can't stay here. People need me, I'm a leader now. I have to go, and- and you have to stay here. You can't get hurt. I'm sorry." Tord gets to his feet and offers his hand to you. "But after all this is over-" his voice is choking up, "You can come and find me, okay? But for now, I need your help." Tord helps you up and explains his plan. You question its logic at first, your cynical and sarcastic facade coming up on its own. But soon, you realise that yeah, this will work. It will convince everyone.

***

"You ready?" Tord asks. He's shot up the house, and it really looks like a proper battlefield now. "Yeah, I am," you reply, "But... Are you sure no one else will get hurt? Apart from... All Matt's stuff?" Tord frowns, "To be perfectly honest... I don't know. I hope that there won't be any casualties, but... Who knows?" You laugh, and he looks at you like you're insane. "You sound like an army commando! _Casualties, sir._ " There's a brief pause, but Tord starts laughing too, and there you are giggling like a pair of teenagers. Tord shyly gives you a light kiss on the cheek, and you blush a little. Then he's up in his giant robot, and suddenly, you're yelling "I'm not your friend!" At the top of your lungs and shooting harpoons at him. 

You hope that eventually, you'll be able to explain to everyone (even your twin) what really happened. And you hope that when that day comes, you'll also be able to see Tord again. You have a feeling you're going to miss him.

Just a little bit.

**Author's Note:**

> this is a prequel to 'Partners in Crime'  
> but it didnt start off as that, it just started off as a oneshot, and that my dear friends is why there isnt much mention of the twins  
> Sorry


End file.
